You know how most of those low-quality mass produced articles and your cynical high school essays titled “On xxx” usually begin with the template “what is xxx exactly? according to Wikipedia/Meriam-Webster, xxx means [insert Ctrl+p], in other words, [insert paraphrases]”? It is considered a cliché attention grabber yet also the safest as immature attempts at starting an essay revolving around a specific noun either results in seemingly sophisticated pseudo-philosophical jargon or modern poetry tier coerced metaphorization and lyricism.

The exploration and analysis of happiness from the unprofessional side has encountered this dilemma in the same bizarre way writers encounter on the quest for a good and cringe-free hook. Endeavors at deciphering happiness from the subjective perspective will all end up in the following four categories:

1. The Life Appreciator: avoids giving definitions and offers generic self-help advices on eating healthy, enjoying nature, spending time with family and friends, and finding beauty
2. The Word Nerd: borrows big words from philosophy and literature to sound fancy while defining happiness to be “be happy with yourself” and expanding it into a list of adjectives
3. The Riddle Speaker: the life appreciator who relies heavily in unnecessary figurative languages
4. The Depressed Doomer: “there is no happiness”

This is not meant to be a satirical piece, nor do I withhold any objection toward people who try to define happiness as you will see how I would eventually be ridiculed by my own words very soon. I actually do agree with the idea that happiness the experience, or the perception, is completely subjective yet the elements involved in the concept itself can be objectified to a certain extent. What defines happiness? What are the elements of it? How do we pursue it? I would like to discuss these three questions in the following post.

The Definition

I was motivated to write this post because of a random thought on the difference between the Chinese words 幸福 (xing fu) and 快乐 (kuai le). They all translate to “happiness” in English yet 快乐 represents the temporary emotion of happiness stemming from a specific event, while 幸福 is a continual state of mind as in the word “contentment”. It is easy to understand temporary happiness, the product resulting from a relationship of cause and effect. A mentally healthy person experiences it through positive events like spending time with pets, playing an interesting game, or getting a satisfying job. However, as an emotion, temporary happiness will eventually pass its expiration date. General happiness in comparison serves as a perspective of life, a maturely established worldview, and a constant state of satisfaction with both oneself and the surroundings.

Without further separating the implications and elements of these two feelings, a common misinterpretation of them perceives lasting happiness to be a collection of temporary happiness and can be maximized through being constantly exposed to stimulation. The phrase “happiness is a choice” is a demonstration of this confusion, as only temporary happiness can be a voluntary act and it cannot be accumulated to generate the more abstract sense of contentment, or general “happiness” that most people refer to as. Temporary happiness is an absolute emotion that can only be described and grasped through comparison with its opposite emotions. One cannot experience any temporary emotions without learning their counterpart, otherwise the mind would subconsciously routinize these emotions to the extent where pain is no longer pain, or happiness is no longer happiness, but resembling a straight line on a flat surface with no vertexes.

Does happiness indicate an absence, an acknowledgement, or a refusal of pain? As mentioned above, I do consider temporary happiness an acknowledgement of pain and the presence of pain the necessary precondition. But do I believe the same for general happiness? I would argue for it involving a process of digesting pain: acknowledgement first, nonchalance second, and refusal third. Happiness is not a formula where one can create an imbalance through weighting more temporary happiness, but a contradictory and self-deceiving mindset that presents a mirage of illusional everlasting joy, where no perfect balances can be found. We, as imperfect beings, can nevertheless get close to it.

The Elements

I am only here to discuss the components of general happiness. They are ranked on a hierarchical structure that can only be achieved from the basis to the top and we shall go in order.

1. a safe surrounding environment

No one needs any proofs or evidences to admit that it is simply impossible to be happy in a toxic environment where the basic right of survival cannot even be guaranteed. Despite the non-permanence of traumatic events, or you can argue the opposite, an environment is a constant factor that sometimes manifests itself as perpetual and inescapable, negating the possibility of a better circumstance and invalidating any vague sense of hope. It forms an obnoxious inner-loop of self doubt and fear of the outside world that cannot be broken unless the environment itself shatters to pieces. Even the minimal positive aspect, usually the only guiding light, is shaded by the overwhelming negative state of the environment and an already damaged mind.

This is the reason we are naturally inclined to encourage the unfortunate ones who happen to be trapped in such a setting to leave, but not to have “good vibes” and “stay positive”. Individual positivity is a response to and appreciation of the already existent total positivity instead of a manufactured decision or a mental switch that can be turned on and off regardless of the situation. If even temporary happiness is proved to be near unattainable in an unhealthy environment, then it is safe to assume its opposite to be the foundation of any higher level happiness.

2. the presence of a healthy level of desire and expectation

The word “healthy” here is ambiguous and indicates a balance between desire and satisfaction with the current state. Many zealous religious followers and self-help authors who share a distorted taste of Buddhism advocate for a life completely detached from lusts and embrace enlightened emptiness as a rebellion toward the rising consumerism in the west. I am in no way an expert in Buddhism, not to mention all the different interpretations, yet in my understanding, Buddhism endorses mutualistic and philanthropic desires that aim to reduce overall sufferings or maintain mindfulness of the self and disapproves only of materialistic and sensual lusts that lead to the despair arising from their unachievability and one’s complete subordination to them. Most who claim to have achieved enlightened emptiness would get more help from a therapist than Buddha.

Therefore, I do promote for having a healthy level of desires regardless of their attached properties. Desire is not a shameful inner fantasy one should escape from, but a detailed manifestation of the reason we are still alive and a goal to keep us moving forward. Through desires, we are able to generate a temporary purpose, which would consequently lead to the creation of expectations, motivating us to look forward to a future event. On the contrary, the lack of expectation toward everything indicates a loss of will to exist and the pessimistic view of the future being predicable and banal.

It is illogical for anyone who is void of desires and favors the cynical conclusion to proceed to the next stage: establish relationships and find love. Interacting with new people signifies a change, yet what is the point of changing if our theoretical hermit is a ghost of the present and the past who loses the ability to imagine future?

3. establishment of healthy relationships with the ability to love and to be loved

Humans are social beings and establish identities through relations with each other. The so-called “identity”, should be classified based on each individual’s consciousness and I would go as far as for arguing that identity starts as a relative reflection of the self in relations with different people and results in a consistent shape as the self has observed itself through others’ perspectives for a certain period of time; there is no self without others, so to speak. The process of connecting serves as a medium for emphasizing on the distinctive part and proving the transcendental existence of an individual, with the prerequisite of the relationship being a positive one, or it would result in the same as of social isolation: severe detachment from the reality and the failure to construct a mature self.

Relationships without love, not necessarily in the romantic context, hold little to zero value comparing to ones that do due to the emotional alienation resulting from the existence of boundaries. Being mentally ostracized from social groups resembles residing in a transparent shell, where all interactions are performed through a misty layer and thus diminishing their values in terms of building individuality. Love is intrinsic to a life full of enthusiasm and expectations; without its presence, we would no longer bear the responsibility of staying alive and optimistic, causing our existence to be a feeble one as once an individual purpose is lost, there can be hardly any exterior influences to sustain the will to maintain happiness.

4. an adequate amount of concentration toward those that are material and present

We laugh at those spiritual petite bourgeoisies who read too much for their indulgence in abstraction and fragmented knowledge to be compatible with the limited reality they can perceive, yet too little to get back to the humdrum and apply them to perfect oneself. It is a common phenomenon you can observe in the self claimed nihilistic young generation, who are blindfolded by the truth of meaninglessness and refuse to observe any objects without summarizing and “deconstructing” them to the “essence”. Not to argue that their conclusion is wrong, but such remoteness from the reality is destined to be self-destructive when nothing holds physical importance and serves merely as a constructed symbol. The world is a finite and material place, and to bid farewell to it is to bond the self to an aloof and cynical attitude and a subjective reality filled by skepticism.

Another factor contributes to unhappiness is the obsession, anxiety, or paranoia about the past or the future. Same with the one who thinks detached from the material, those who live detached from the present are also haunted by a subjective reality where specific objects and events are reorganized or amplified to be in harmony with an intense emotion or a theory.

It is impossible to proceed any further if we cannot be conscious participants in an objective reality due to the inversion of priority, which is to put the abstract over the actual and theorizing the imperceptible over experiencing the perceivable. Even if the objective reality is a myth, according to the quantum physicists, it is still practicable to take the advice of focusing on what is in front of you ~and touching grass~.

5. personal faith or individual purpose

Until now, our quest for happiness leaves the problem of existential crisis unsolved. How to obtain a meaning through meaninglessness? Or how to shift the perspective from humanity back to the individual to avoid such paradoxical pessimism? Or aim for the more abstract route, how to be happy as a finite being with free will who cannot truly obtain a meaning from the infinite universe? One solution is to accept our ignorance and preserve some humbleness, coercing the rebellious mind to be passionate about the absurd and to kiss the insipidity of a mundane life. Its counterpart, unsatisfied with volitional ignorance, is represented by the pursuit of a faith or a purpose.

Both the faith and the purpose bestow an ultimate meaning to support and validate the existence of each individual despite the nihilistic answer provided by existence itself. They do not have to be sophisticated or display high morals, but rather absolute and maximize the range of aspiration. This is the reason why people remain obedient to religion in a secularized age, the systemized and historic practice of faith centered on the worship of an absolute power who loves equally and shall never betray, for comfort of the fear of the void. Some aspire to save the country, some aspire to cure diseases, and some aspire to live a tranquil life with whom they love. Purposes are neither a hierarchy nor ranked based on their contribution to humanity. If an irrational and fabricated passion for the repetition of life is the acceptance of ignorance, then the chase after faith or purpose is the attempt at penetrating the veil of ignorance.

Whether the outside of ignorance is more ignorance or spiritual enlightenment, the exploration itself already serves as a unique meaning. This could have been the top of the pyramid, yet we have to encounter another, and the final dilemma: how to cope with a reality that contradicts personal values and stop being negatively empathetic for the agony of others?

6. reconciliation of the objective reality with the subjective reality and a solution for the contradictory process of bypassing pain

To elucidate this confusing description: objective reality is the observe reality we are physically at; subjective reality is the expected reality we have mentally constructed; and reconciliation is the process of harmonizing these two visions, usually incompatible and divergent, to a unified state where one would not be bothered by the ineptitude of the world to actualize one’s idealism. In simple words, it is the live-action of the phrase “everything is great, but I am still unhappy” after you complete the checklist for the other five elements. The unavoidability of the shift from self to all after acquiring material well-being is a curse upon the gift of empathy. Different from the emo teenagers described in the fourth element, the helplessness and hopelessness of those who are professionals at living an enthusiastic life is not a result of meaninglessness, but of vexation and dissatisfaction at the current state of the world and their mandatory participation.

Reality is the maximal extension of the surrounding environment and thus becomes physically inescapable when a man decides to venture beyond the bubble of an untroubled and blissful life. The popularization of Internet has propagated this phenomenon further due to the unavoidable information overload that constantly trespasses our safety zone of a perceptible inner world and put burdensome responsibility of empathizing with those who are outsiders of our inner world upon us. We are no longer only miserable by, due to, or for ourselves, but also rather miserable by, due to, or for others from an omniscient perspective. This melancholy resulted from an imperfect world can be only healed through hypocrisy of a good cause or the self conviction that morally exempts a mortal man from serving justice and displaying virtues universally.

The uncertainty of an unpromising future and unstable atmosphere also threatens the achievability of happiness for the same reason of residing in a generally depressing environment, whether specifically for an economic, political, or cultural cause.

Let’s get back to the question of pain. The process of bypassing pain is demonstrated by the alternating pattern of acknowledgement and refusal, with nonchalance as a transition, whether it’s for the self or others. We accept agony for its substantiated existence, deliberately ignore it for its unbearable weight upon realizing happiness, and finally deny it by deceiving ourselves that agony is only temporary. It might not be deceiving as an undeniable fact, though it’s still deceiving regarding the lasting consequence of this fact. Humans are fragile beings and tabula rasas polluted by accumulated negative stimulus. The entire argument for permanent happiness is merely a hypothesis overthrown by the presence of pain.

The Pursuit

If you have ever paid a visit to a normie bookstore, you will usually notice a huge shelf with collections of self-help books that promise to unlock the key to happiness. The overwhelming amount and the overly similar content of these books illustrate an extremely high market demand for fast-food tier spiritual guidance as true happiness becomes a luxury in the modern society. I have trolled self-help more than enough in this post and I feel obligated to justify my ~autistic~ cynicism towards it: self-help books falsely portray happiness as the product redeemable through a certain procedure that can be quantified and manipulated; by labeling their generic and impractical advices as a door toward nirvana, most, but not all happiness-obsessed self-help authors are just hungry for some cash and bring nothing good other than producing a temporary contrived mental orgasm for you.

The pursuit of happiness is pessimistic because pursuit is the realization of non-being. By participating in active pursuit of happiness, one has to be constantly conscious of their unhappiness, leading to the opposite of the intended purpose. From a personal perspective, unhappiness can be reduced by removing negative elements from their life and pursuing positive elements listed above, yet happiness cannot be increased by this process since they are two parallel states of mind. A lack of unhappiness does not automatically generate happiness to keep the balance, but rather a period of blank. The argument for what constitutes happiness discussed in the prior section is a one-way ticket that explicates “why you are happy/unhappy”, but not “how to be happy” and shall never be resorted to as a guide.

A second phenomenon I want to discuss here is how people tend to measure happiness through both vertical and horizontal comparison. Horizontal comparison compares the self with others, stating that happiness is a manifestation of schadenfreude, where one takes pleasure in knowing that someone else lives a more desolate life than them, thus happiness is a rank determined by level of sufferings. I want to write professionally, but this is just utter bullshit. It not only rejects the empathetic nature of humanity entirely, but also interprets happiness from a superficial, materialistic, and monistic understanding in which the measurement of happiness is simplified to the amount of objective misery one has to suffer. Misery is not objective after one surpasses the element of the general environment as it is taken over by one’s mental capacity. If it is acknowledged that everyone has different physical pain tolerances, why would not it be so for mental pain too? Happiness is a concept too abstract and personal to be compared horizontally with its lack of universal rules on its measurement, and too uncorrupted to be used to bestow a sense of superiority to those who are considered “luckier”.

What about vertical comparison, where one compares the present self with the past self? By concerning only one subject, it agrees that happiness is personal and abandons the use of schadenfreude. Rather than the objective misery that horizontal comparison has assumed, vertical comparison focuses more on the fluidity of the mind and attempts to measure happiness through a subjective evaluation of the state of the mind at each time frame, carried out through the repetition of self-scrutiny: “are you feeling happier”. At first glance, it is similar to the goalless pursuit I have criticized in the second paragraph, yet the word “happier”, a comparative rather than its definite adjective “happy”, recognizes the pre-existence of happiness before the question is asked. The pursuit of “happierness” represents a positive mindset of building upon what is already established to get closer to the peak of happiness.

Besides comparison, the concept of amor fati, or “love of fate”, has also been mentioned as an attitude for the harvest of true happiness. However, suppose average people are virtuous enough to accept absolutely everything that life has to offer, wouldn’t we refer to them as saints? Any idealistic and heroic views of humans are not suitable as a formula for the achievement of happiness, a basic need for living that cannot be romantized. Amor fati is not the way to happiness, but to greatness. Some call it virtuous and some call it coping.